A Heartbreak Moment

I have a had busy last few days, so I haven't been able to post this. This past Thursday, I was volunteering for an organization for my Vocation of Ministry project. The organization my class small group chose to volunteer with was called Step-by-Step. It is an organization to help single mothers. It brings together single mothers for an evening every two weeks and provides child care for their children.

Several of my group members and I were put in charge of watching half of the four year old boys and girls there that night. The hardest part for me was not having to carry around the one boy who only wanted to be held or watching some kids mess up other kids play areas when they were playing nice.

The hardest part involved a toy wrench in the room. That night, several of the kids in the room picked that toy. The heartbreaking thing was that they all thought it was a gun. They all pointed it at me like they had a hand on the trigger ready to pull it. As much as I tried to show them what it actually was, all these kids saw was a gun. It was just heartbreaking to think that many of these kids were probably surrounded by a culture that would have them seeing a gun in something like a wrench. It really gave me a gut check to the culture surrounding me that I can all to often lose touch with in my seminary bubble. My eyes have been opened wide again.

I want to give a lot of credit to the people at Step-by-Step for having the heart and passion to intervene and provide help for the people involved in the program. They are doing a great work in the lives of these women and children and the community. I would encourage anyone with a heart for a ministry like this to look up the local Step-by-Step in your area and get involved. Praise God for all of you.

Sin

I know the title for this post seems a little simple, but I think it is really all that is needed.

Sin is something every Christian deals with during his or her life. It has been an issue ever since the time of the first man and woman. The Israelites struggled with sin during the 40 years of wandering. King David, one of the most revered people in biblical history, struggled with it (see Bathsheba). The disciple Peter sinned against Jesus by denying Him. I could add more, but I think the point has been made.

I have always known of my sin and the sin of the world, but my heart has been so grieved by sin this lenten season that sin has become an increasingly difficult thing with which to deal for me. Dr. Ellsworth Kalas, a professor here at Asbury, preached on Ash Wednesday a few weeks back in chapel. His sermon opened my eyes to my sin more than they had ever been opened to it before. My time in lent has been very focused on understanding my sin and the sin of the world. I feel almost lost in sin at times. In many ways, this lent has been a very sad time for me as I have been forced to look on my sin and realize the true grave nature of it. I see my sin, and I grieve greatly. I see how far away I feel from God when I am in my sin. Sometimes it gets very difficult to remember the great love of God and the wonderful, marvelous sacrifice of Jesus on the cross to forgive the sins of all people, including me. I tend to forget that God is so much greater than me and that even though I don't think He should forgive me, He will.

I am seeing my sin this lent. I am broken about it. I am grieving because I do it. I am sad because I do it and don't want to anymore. I understand the words of the apostle Paul very well. "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." Romans 7:15 (NRSV).

In all my grieving and sadness over my sin though, I know I have hope. I know that I have a Savior who died on a cross that all the sins of the world could be forgiven. I know I have a Savior who rose from the grave on the third day and conquered death. I know I have a Savior that lives in me that I might live with Him, now and forever. Glory to God in the highest. Amen.

Welcome

Welcome to my new home of Random Ramblings!!!

I will be posting a lot of my thoughts on different things on here as they come to me. I hope everybody enjoys the site. Hopefully I will have a post up to read soon.